Politics

I wish I hadn't drunken that mouth wash

2010-02-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

I'm scared. There is not point in life, I'm not suicidal or anything, but dood. When I die I'll be gone forever. I also can't shake this feeling a blue monster is behind me about to whack me with a scilnced pistol. SCARY! I also took 7 advil. I think the blue monster is real, I'm trainging to kill it. It's kill or be killed folks. The blue monster doesn't fly, I don't think, he's blue, with white eyes, and sorta seems like a ghost. It's real scary, he might want to eat me, instead of shott me. I'm learning how to take this monster down. I can't see through the blue moster. He's not going from side to side anymore Everytime I try to hit him he goes to another side. He has pearly teeth and breathes green. He says I"m in charge of blue monster detial, I don't think I'm ready for this kind of responsibility. The man say if I dont' take care of the blue monster detail by the time he gets back i'd be better off if the blue monster ate me. Apperntly salt kills blue monsters unless they're turquoise and then you need battery acid. I tried attacking it with the butt of my pistol, and got it a few times, but now it's angry and it's teeth are green.

Love

2010-02-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

SHIT! I think I might be in love guys, or I'm gay, because feelings are gay. I actually like spending time with my girlfriend, it's not all about the great sammiches and blow jobs while I watch tv. I think of her as a person, and the thought of marriage doesn't make me want to vomit! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? SHOOT ME!

A womans friend

2010-02-06T17:12:00.000-08:00

FUCK THEM! Woman shouldn't have friends; they get me in trouble, make situations awkward, and worst of all cock-block. A perfect example, I try to go to a movie with a hot girl, hoping I might get to experience a blowjob in a movie theatre. Then I find out she's taking her friends, one is a bitch that I don't like (A bitch because she won't fuck me, and gets angry when I hit on her/am an asshole to her.) the other is a skinny pale girl, who kind of freaks me out. She says they don't have to sit with us, but that's bullshit. Even if they don't sit with us, I don't want them staring/talking about us. And if her head is down there they'll come over and her head will have to come up and I'll have to finish by myself, and well all know how well that ends. So I suggest a movie, and the girl goes "they'll see whatever they want to see." So I think to myself, fuck it. I'm not going I'll try again next week. It's too bad only the ugly ones don't have any friends. Woman shouldn't be allowed to have friends.

Necrid tries being an asshole

2010-01-22T06:24:00.000-08:00

Being an asshole feels awesome! Everyone should try it, even if it alienates you from your friends, family, ect; So this annoying Indian kid was being a douchbag so I decide to be a douchbag back. I take a paper clip, bend it and twist it and put it down the back of his shirt so it's stabbing him. He has to cut a hole in his shirt to get it out! I put snow down his shirt and smash it in his face, all that stuff, and then I see this fat ass walking around,
Indian Kid: So, fattey, are you just going to walk around?
Necrid: yea, walk around and cause earthquakes everytime he takes a step. Be hones, did you fly over to Hati and jump around causing that big earthquake?
Fattey: Just stares blankly at me.
Indian Kid: Lauging so hard tears he's crying, and saying that's terrible, you know how many people were killed?

Maine

2010-01-06T17:14:00.000-08:00

So I drove up to Maine last weekend to ski with my cousin Aaron and to celebrate my birthday. (Which was January first.) So after a long night of drinking beer and wine, I head up to bed around 1 AM. I wake up at about 10 the next morning and don't have a hangover at all! I think to myself that today is going to be a good day. And then it starts going downhill. I realize that I've got a boner.

Lets be honest here, boners are the worst things EVER! You can't ignore it, the pop up randomly throughout the day, if a woman does something erotic near you, and you have to worry about the thing sticking out of your pants!

So anyway, I whip it out and begin to masturbate furiously. I lean over hoping it won't get on the wall and jizz. Unfortunately, I got splooge on the wall. I wait for a while. The stain shows no sign of disappearing. I frantically begin taking wet toilet paper and cleaning up my mess. It still doesn't look like it's going away! I know we're changing the sheets today, and the splooge on the wall can easily be seen by anyone in the room. I go get bleach in the bathroom and start using that. This just makes the mess look bigger. As my last resort I grab a hand towel, I wet it and begin cleaning up. While I'm cleaning up I wonder how many times people have done this to me at my own house, and how many of these towels have been used for that purpose in THIS HOUSE! The splooge is finally going away, and I'm relived. But I still can't shake the idea that people have used hand towels in my house for that exact purpose. I don't use a hand towel the rest of the time that I'm at my cousins house, they don't have any paper towels so I'm forced to use my pants as a towel. I no longer use fabric towels at my house for drying my hands, only paper towels. After all of this, I remember someone mentioning something about a camera in one of the rooms. If they look at it and see the pictures of me fapping, well, lets just say it'll be awkward at best.

New Years resolution

2010-01-05T17:22:00.000-08:00

My new years resolution is to drink more, be a nicer person, and work out every day.